TMA01 is almost finished. An inspired pieced culled from my memory and imagination, the result of which is part life writing part fictional story. Like all stories I guess. I shall demur from describing it too much on the basis that it's just too early.  But I'm happier with it  than I thought possible. I seriously couldn't think of a damn thing to write at the start.

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The question I have to ask myself as I progress with it is, can this be dramatized?  If so how would I go about it?  And how will I refer to this and other developmental ideas and means of progression? perhaps i should have asked myself these thing prior to writing it, but that's not really how I roll. On a positive note i put together a little piece on commentaries in answer to someones query about why they should be done, and what a commentary actually hoping to show and achieve.  This is my response.  Not too pompous I hope.

'I think for me I see the commentary as something that provides an opportunity for the OU to see students showing an element of academic proficiency (as it is a component for certain suitable academic degrees,) how the learned techniques of successful writers as discussed in the (degree level) course book and other material, and how your own individual inspirations and creations can all come together to help you  create a ‘what works for you and how’  writer’s mind-set,  with the creative work submitted as a demonstration of this.

The commentary then is a series of parts synthesised into a whole which would include the likes of:  I had an idea from this; I thought I would try that.  I tried this technique (on page?) but didn't like it. I tried this idea from my notebook and thought it better, then realised it was similar to a technique discussed (on page?) so really went with it.  I liked the technique used by this writer (on page ?) which made me think of a dream I had or line I read I which prompted me to write this sentence, paragraph, poem,  or about that theme or in this manner.  Etc.  etc.

To that end, for the commentary to be valid as an integral part of a university course in creativity, it has to focus on the process rather than the work. You could say that it puts an academic spin on the fictional nonsense we write. Which sounds unkind, but I guess that’s the way students of physics, geology and mathematics might put it. The commentary pulls us back closer to their world by actually suggesting that there is an academic drive behind the creative arts and if you can’t always see it in the creative work itself, it’s because its primary focus is probably one of entertainment. 

So, here is the explanation of the work, also known as the commentary, which shows the inspiration, the research, the experiments, the successes, the theories, the highs, the lows, the laughs, (and particularly for me!),  the sweat, and the tears behind its creation.  Having to write the commentary and then looking at what it should include shows that being creative on a creative writing course is no picnic.'  

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Well it got me thinking at least. I didn't post it as a reply though because it seemed a little bit too swottish and  made me sound like an agent working for the OU, rather than someone who probably should be seen and heard taking an adversarial view point more often. But I think I can see the point of commentaries. 

Ideas

I groan audibly when I hear or read that a fellow student has an idea for a TMA. I never have an idea.  Yes you read that correctly. Never.  I have to do that Ian McEwan thing every time and just write until ideas emerge whilst on the page and then develop and grow, or not, as I progress. I can honestly say I have never felt that sense of fizzy anticipation as I sit down to write having hatched in my sleep or down the gym or whilst watching telly a really good  idea. How dies this eureka thing work?   Why don't I have it?

My latest offering for a TMA involves a little bit of developed life writing.  I just thought about describing a work place, put myself in it, sort of remember how I felt about being there then started thinking about how I might have acted if I'd been a little more impressive than I actually was. At the moment it's crap with a capital T like this C not this T.  Not a great eureka moment is it?

Another way I've heard is successful for some is to invent characters first then let them ask you to be placed in a story line. It all sounds a bit deep and psychological and perhaps a little overly decorous in the case of the characters - 'we're here, how would you like us to disport our duties kind sir?'  Could it work?  I don't know.

Free Write

I think I can say now that I have formally started A363 having introduced myself on the student forum page. Introductions are always a struggle for me for some reason, whether orally or in writing. There always seems to be something po-faced about it. I would like to avoid it completely, but perhaps it's a necessary evil.

I think it's time for another free write about another of those stated prompts as I see this month as a lead into the first TMA rather than anything else (aside from re-finding the writing muse that is)  A free write can only help put a metaphorical fire-cracker up my arse and maybe when I come back down to Earth I just might be where I was at the end of 215.  

So, we've had a look at knots and clean sheets what's next? A cloister. Defined by Chambers as a covered arcade forming part of a monastic or collegiate establishment, a place of religious retirement,  a monastery or nunnery, an enclosed place. to confine within walls.  To confine within walls suggests prison and prison life provides potentially rich sources of imaginative ideas when writing stories.  A prisoner could be contemplating something in his cell.  The enormity of his crimes. Or feelings of penitence. Does he repent for the things he has done now that he has so much time on his hands to think? Or is he in prison due to a miscarriage of justice.  How about thoughts that he is a victim?  

The man sat in the middle of his cell, his feet fettered, his clothing torn. The cell was small, no bigger than the room he called his bedroom in his lodgings.  But this was now his whole world of private pain and desperate delirium 

'How many years did the Judge say? 5? 10?  I cut the heads as best I could.  Not my fault that the blade was blunt. How did I know. They said I was complicit. The Duke? he suffered bad! Had to finish him with me knife. Snap those strands like I was finishing off me latest fish gutting. Stripping a Rabbit. Stringy little bastards.  They say I made the Execution painful  for a pay off. Pah! I was a professional - professional to the last that's me. Never. Bungled? What a word to use for a Craftsman. One who takes pride in his work!  One slice is all I ever needed. Someone else s hand is behind this - switched blades behind my back. blunt one - lacking weight. Told the Judge I hit him square - that line between back and neck hair-taper - takes years to get to get that right. Target. Aim. Sniper-style. Steady hands. Pride in me work. now here I am sat cold and innocent in this cell.'

FREE WRITE

If I were to write a blog about knots I might go some way towards getting an idea for this initial TMA.The word 'Knots' is one of the provided prompts - like charity shop was for the last course TMA01. That one worked well, so maybe will this one will too. Knots is just one word, but think of all the associations that might start me going: knots in wood - whirls in wood that are weaknesses,  flaws perhaps, in  what would otherwise be firm and solid material.  Perhaps we could extend this into a metaphor - move the word from its arboreal roots so to speak and develop it into the figurative - the knot in their relationship was certainly the consequence of Peter's affair.

True it was six years ago, but the solidity of what was once a partnership cast in solid substance, unwavering, fixed, redoubtable - had never look much more than frenulum-fragile and slivering-shaky since Peter strayed whilst he was on that electronics course down in Newcastle Under Lyme.

A knotty problem is a tricky problem.  Something that might require a great deal of guile and thought to find a solution. But knots are nearly always evocative. 'Tie a knot in it' used to be an old saying said by men when giving advice to boys about contraception - a love knot might be a symbol for undying love - such as the Algerian love knot worn by a bond girl and identified by Bond on his realization that this particular Bond girl may not be an easy conquest. Balloons require knots to seal in the air. Shoes, boots, hoods, and waist cords require knots to secure a fastening. Lorry Drivers and sailors receive tuition in tying knots as it is vital to their profession that they understand which knot is appropriate for which task. Mountaineers rely on knots to scale mountains and rocks and at the same time to save their lives. If you want to be rude to someone you may chose to invite them to get knotted (which at least is more polite than telling them to get fucked).  What is meant by the former as an expression, indicating that the object person needs to find themselves in a position from which they cannot bother the subject person, in a literal sense, is not entirely clear.

Slip, hitch, half-hitch and sheep shank. Noose.  Some one once tried to teach me how to do a half-hitch.  I thought that he'd lost his mind. What an absolute boggle of a procedure. Plenty of people have half-learnt how to make a noose before making it one of their last acts. Others have failed and paid the price of their incompetence with unwanted survival and recrimination. The granny-knot is one that's close to my heart. A rag-tag and bobtail, semi-abortion of a tangle that's guaranteed to stay knotted for all eternity simply because its configuration defies logic, physics, and everything else in between.   It's a bundle of mess, the extrication of which could take centuries to work out because it doesn't conform with any rationale - it's a bugger's muddle of plaited nightmares that could be tossed out and left twisting in the wind like one of Hardy's heroines. Why is it called a granny knot?  Why knot. I'm reminded of that other unconquerable knot, the accidental hitch. Throw a hose or an electric cable round a building and see how long it takes to snag on something. Pull at it with the strength of eleven elephants and it's going nowhere. It's a fucking good knot and no-one thought to tie it there. 

And I've got this far without straying into fable and myth - the fabulous Gordian Knot from which everything that might kill you is becoming steadily unravelled before finally its release and your demise is assured. 

Back to Study and A363

I have finally started to look through the course material for A363. I suppose that means that technically I have started the course, though this is really early days and I need to do a few things before I feel right about things  For the last course I had a nice big desktop and printer at my place of work which I comfortably worked on throughout the day when I had nothing much else to do which was pretty much all the time towards the end as I stumbled my way towards an early retirement. But here's the thing, I no longer have access to those resources within that environment  and I don't feel ready to attack the course in the same way as I tackled A215 partly because of these changes.  I'm now on a lap top now which sits on a cramped table with it and me squeezed into a smallish bedroom study. Somehow I feel less able to be expansive with my writing because of these apparent physical constraints.  I guess the only cure to these concerns and  misgivings is that I write a lot more from now on and get used to the new systems as quickly as possible. I really need to become familiar with the smaller screen and the slightly less natural feeling this change of venue and equipment seems to be having on me. I don't need to have any other impediments to writing on this course as it looks to be challenging enough.

Loads of things getting in the way of writing at the moment. Impending redundancy; family life; holidays pre-booked (before knowing about redundancy presumably, I here you say, - actually no, I expected, in fact, volunteered for it, so no shock experienced here); car needing new engine and gear box due to the wearing and crushing distance between my home and my place of work over the last five years;  new oven and gas fire purchased and, generally apropos all that, trying to get my financial situation in order. Looking for jobs, writing CVs (writing after a fashion I suppose though the only creative element there is in the lies and outrageous exaggerations that are woven into it.)  Yes, loads on. Poor old writing. But wait, here I am writing a blog. I haven't gone away completely.  And, the marks for the A215 EMA are due within a week or so.  That's going to have an effect one way or the other when the marks have been read and assimilated. Will I be hitting the bottle in celebration or will I be hitting myself over the head with the thing? 

Meanwhile many of my fellow students are writing poetry and submitting their efforts to publications and writing flash-fiction like their lives depended on it. Whilst I, sit back and have a nervous break-down about matters employment and financial and wait for A363 to start despite having prepared by reading one or two film scripts, half a novel and a few extracts from a couple of plays. Desultory preparation at best wouldn't you say? But I am staying in the right frame of mind - he says writing in cliches one after the other - I'm keeping my words keen and my mind open. I'm even thinking that a new job might inspire me to write with new settings as backdrops.

Maybe I should take a job down at the local police station or in the hospital where all human life can be found, where human interest stories unfold every day and myriad characters come and go.  Raw material everywhere. How about the local funeral parlor? Think of the sights, textures and smells. I know this sounds bad, and it feels bad just thinking about it,  but all this does sound like grist to the writer's mill. Even the baddest stuff. Could I though?  Could I take jobs just to broaden my writer's imagination and fill my writerly indexes with new showing opportunities? expand my repertoire of experiences whist earning farthings. I don't really need the money - though I'm by no means rich, and I certainly don't need a new career - I'm saying goodbye to one that's 30 years old.

So maybe I should make a point of spreading myself around like a kind of undercover operative  - care homes to see what brutality really does goes on; zoos to learn about animal's habits and odd human beast interactions; factories to experience tedium and the destructiveness of tittle-tattle and gossip; customer services, to speak to loads and loads of strange people and tackle my understandings of why I like and dislike some of the characters. 

 It's certainly a thought. Don't look for a job, just do work as research for your real job as a writer. Then you never need to be ashamed of being a shit house cleaner, litter collector, assistant road sweeper, traffic warden, bus conductor, or Ian Beale's body double. 'I'm doing research for my latest book, poem, play' would be your unspoken thoughts - 'then I'm off cruel world, to write some good shit about it all and show you, get it show you all what I'm really about.  A couple of little wage packets will supplement my pension and keep me in paper, toner. pens, pencils, notebooks and even a little extra food perhaps - for thought of course!

Few thoughts about A363 and preparation

I have just read quickly through the Assessment Booklet for A363 and I am terrified. Why? The sheer volume of work that is required. And the extent of the diversity of forms you are expected to master. Fiction, poetry, life writing forms the basis, but critiques, stage, film and radio scripts are all part of the course, together with more formal poetry which I haven't touched on (given that A215 was all about free verse though for me even that had mixed results at best).
I don't remember feeling anything other than excitement at the start of A215.  I don't feel excited about A363 at all and I'm left wondering if I haven't made a big mistake signing up to it. That said let's look at this a bit more objectively:
Fiction: I might not have excelled in this part of A215 in that I drew heavily for the appropriate TMAs 01 and 02 from episodes from my life for both, serving as unexpected precursors for the later life writing phase.  But I scored well. And, following the process of writing both of these assignments I now have a much better grasp of the technicalities of fiction writing, even if I have resisted writing a single story since. What I will need before the course starts is a list of possible subjects and ideas about story possibilities and story telling. I have time to make this list - currently I don't have one so the prospect of writing fictional stories is more daunting until I have a list of prompts sitting at my shoulder acting as a helpful reference point and guide and drawing the sting from this cold start anxiety.  I do have a few false starts on the various blogs I've written about character and situation ideas. Leonard Wickets the drug-taking, aging hippy and failed Lothario sign writer; Edward Blessington the overweight sports playing slightly misanthropic vicar; and Matilda Mayhurst the snippy racialist war widowed wheelchair bound martinet are just three characters I remember profiling - and as I recall once I' d profiled these and other characters, stories almost presented themselves to me, rendering me breathless and interested and writing at full pelt.  That's got to be a plus.

Poetry: Remembering my poem A Face in Time. It didn't break any score records but it was well in the 70s which at the moment sound fine going forward.  I absolutely loved writing it once I'd mastered the conventions and expectations of free verse and received quite a bit of praise for my use of assonance (one of the most important technical devices in free verse) alliteration and use of echoic sounds,  pace and diction. Also the poem I wrote together with the less successful Sea Keepers which still had huge promise) were both story poems which look particularly relevant in style for A363.  Again I loved writing both.  The caveat must be the formal side of poetry as I have noticed as the course progresses there is a requirement to write poetry using some of the forms taught: pantoum, sonnet... sestinas for Christ's sake.  Until I try I don't suppose I will know but to head off too much pre course anxiety I should look into those forms and see what I can do. But again it's from the ideas where most success should flow.  Come up with ideas and I'll be able to do all these things I'm sure.

Life Writing: I still have stores of ideas left over from A215. It's worth remembering that Easter Lilies which was submitted as my examinable component was just a casual idea originally destined to be a fragment of TMA04 Life Writing, and perhaps arbitrarily I chose to reserve it for a longer piece of work once I realised I was well over the word limit for 04. It was then developed into a 2,500 word EMA which I think (though I don't know as I don't have my EMA mark back yet) is a good piece of work - and it came from virtually nothing growing as it did organically. I had no idea where it would go aside from a few basic ideas at the beginning and a loose framework to hang the whole thing from. My life writing work which is proven in 04 (scored 85) and EMA (expecting similar) does develop throughout the editing process and I end up going down routes I would never have expected  - this may be a skill of mine and I'm sure will be there waiting for me all over again for A363. (Don't forget I'm trying to give myself confidence here, none of that pride comes before a fall stuff).

Of course I have never written scripts but I'm already in beginning to read a few plays and film scripts to get a feel for the form and by the time the course starts I'll have an idea at least how each of them should be presented and maybe even some ideas that could be developed.

Critiques: They don't frighten me.  I did some on A215 which I was hesitant about, but only because I didn't feel confident that I should be doing it as I was only learning myself. In this course it is part of the learning process and a vital part of passing so I'll have no such inhibitions here. I think I'll do quite well in this area. The one thing I wil have to do to ensure success is to really read through peers' work - I had a habit of going off half-cocked on A215 as it was not an essential part of the course and often I felt sligtly begrudging about doing it. Not for this one I'll be reading peers' work closely and be expecting the same treatment bestowed onto my work.

Additionally: I haven't been sitting on my hands completely since A215. For the poetry and to a certain extent for other forms of writing I have been working on improving my word power to counter one of the mantras on A215 and doubtless will be on A363,  strive always for originality of expression and the avoidance of hackneyed expressions and cliches.  In fact avoid anything that looks formulaic, everyday, and recognisable whenever you can. To this end I have been compiling dictionaries of lesser known words.  Admittedly these will be of greater use for poetry than other forms, but it's a vital form of preparation I think.  So much criticism and comment on A215 was generated by the use of vocabulary and in particular, poetry. Surprise is, it seems  always welcome, perhaps even mandatory if you want to score well and perhaps produce something that might one day be publishable.   I have a stock of surprise words that will be wheeled out conservatively.  Surprises aplenty. Incidentally I used a couple Old Dorset words in one of my poems and Old Somerset in the other. Positive comments were offered in both cases, it really is a no -brainer.  To extend the use of the English language really does make it look like you are going deeper into your emotional reserves which reflects positively in your poetry.  Prose also, but with greater care.
So perhaps there's much to be confident about as well.  Little bit of nerves won't hurt. Arrogance is the worst attitude at the beginning of a course, thinking you won't struggle because it's all stuff you know. Thinking about itpre course nerves may well help to ensure I will be properly prepared for the challenge